Dear Mommy,

This is a Story..

Hi Mommy!

Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few
weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise.
Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got
beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I
will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me
your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we
have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to
be a doctor when I grow up.



You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't
wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was
perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I
will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I
know it already.



Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about
me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that
you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called
wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand
yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did
something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and
your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad
for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It
doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after,
and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I
do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I
don't like it, Mommy.



Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and
you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes,
and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most
beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm
happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait
and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will
make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.



I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your
hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love
you, Mommy.



Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting
funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't
know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry,
Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to
protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good
person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want
us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?



You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?



It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or
touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I
still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when
you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug
me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do
that when you're awake, any more?



I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going
somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a
hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell
you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.



...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't
know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think
something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared,
Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love
you!



Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It
feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!



Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They
told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.



Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you
get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something
wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why
don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want
to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care
about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say
you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and
see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I
want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did
something wrong. I love you!





I love you, Mommy.

From Philippines to Hawaii

      At the age of 6, I migrated to Hawaii. Sad as it was, I needed to. My parents and my two younger siblings lived there. And in order for our family to be completed, I needed to move.
I was reluctant, I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to leave my school, my relatives, my classmates, and especially my friends behind. I had so many things and people left behind in Bacarra.
I remember crying on the day I left Bacarra. I cried until we got to Manila. I remember hanging onto my Aunt’s hand, begging her to let me stay with her. My grandma and grandpa carried me away and we bid our farewells. When I got on the plane, I still sobbed. Until the plane took off, I stopped crying. Why? I was fascinated with the take-off. As soon as the pilot announced our take-off in the intercom, I felt butterflies in my stomach. My stomach flipped upside down! It felt like a roller coaster ride. I looked out the window, we were flying up in the sky!
After 11 hours of a grueling, vomit-filled plane ride, we finally arrived in what they called the “paradise”, Honolulu, Hawaii.
We stepped out, there were so many cars, so many people, and so many luggage! Then suddenly, both my grandparents rushed to this lady and man. Then soon, this man and lady hugged me real tight. I guessed they were my mom and dad. Then I saw a little girl, about 4 years old and another girl in the arms of another lady, a year old. I guess they were my siblings. I still felt awkward around them, and I felt shy. Being the 6 year old that I was, the only English word I understood and spoke was “yes” or “no.” I couldn’t communicate with my cousins nor my siblings, even if I wanted to.
I remember my first day of school, I felt like crying. Everyone seemed scary, I didn’t talk to anyone. After that first day, I didn’t want to go back at all! I missed home every single day, I remember crying every single night, begging my grandma to take me home. I wanted to go back to Bacarra real bad.
Then soon enough, I made some friends. They didn’t make fun of me and my broken English. I was glad that I was put in an English as A Second Language program. I owe a lot to that program, without it, I wouldn’t be speaking as fluently as I am right now.
As years passed, the more accustomed I got to the American culture and the Hawaii culture. As years flew by, the more comfortable I got with the English language and school. I soon made friends, friends that I treasure now.
          It took me about a year to get used to my new environment. Took me a good 2 years to comprehend and speak English fluently and gain my confidence with my speaking abilities.
I’ve been living here in Hawaii for 11 years now, more than I have lived in the Philippines. I now consider this state as my home. But Philippines will always be my homeland. =]




   This story was emailed to me by my friend in Hawaii. 

My Benign Giant Cell Tumor

          Five months had passed, I can still reminisce my life at the asylum, a very tragic experience that I can never wash them away. It is like a window of the past that I can't close them inside my heart.
          In the month of April when the doctor had diagnosed me that i had a giant cell tumor. I was unconscious and got panic and I didn't know what I do. We went to a public hospital near our town and they checked me up. They wasn't able to determine yet what was it and they only gave me some sort of medicine for one week. After the prescribed day, we went back to the hospital. The medicine that they gave was not effectual so the doctor decided to put me in the x-ray room but there were no available films so I decided to go to an x-ray clinic near the hospital. We went back again after one day with my aunt. I was shocked when the orthopedic surgeon explained to me that my left leg, below my knee was already eaten by a tumor and it has a great chance that the cells will become malignant and my leg will be cut-off. We decided to transfer in a more productive hospital, a kilometer away from our town and I had also a chicken fox that time. The surgeon also said that I have a tumor in the bone. He instructed us to go back after one week and he added that I must undergo operation and they will going to clean, fill out the tumor and apply bone cement on it but the bone cement was costly and I need 2 packs. I felt happy that time and hoping that  my leg can now be cured. Lately, I got operated and stayed at the asylum for four days and I went home in the fourth day with the ambulance as our transportation. It was about two months when my left leg is stretched and I cannot bend it as I used to in my right leg. we went back and forth many times in the hospital for me to be checked up. upon coming home, my aunt noticed that it was like swelling so we went back the next day. It started to shed a little blood from the fresh opening of my wound. When the assistant nurse opened my wound, many blood came out and it is like a volcano that burst lava on it.  It was so afflictive at that moment and every-time I carry my leg causes me to feel hurt so I stayed and sit in a wheel chair. My family and I were trembling and nervous because from that time, I gradually make blood to come out everyday.  We transferred to another clinic, a private one. the doctor was kind and patient. He looked at my x-ray result  and take some generalizations on it. He said that I must be operated again but heir gadgets was not complete and not compatible to use. He reffered us to his friend who is a doctor in a private clinic, now hospital several kilometer away from the province but before that, I need to undergo blood transfusion yet to change the loss blood in our town hospital. A couple of days, we went to what the doctor had referred us. I was fearful and anxious from that moment. the doctor talked to my aunt and the doctor examined my x-ray results. I was puzzled if what are they talking all about. He then talked to me with a calm voice and said, " Do you know what disease is in you already? tumor is a beginning cancer but what is in you is not malignant, its a benign tumor. I will give you two options, first we will save your leg through bone grafting but you cannot bend it anymore and this is a very risky operation. Secondly, we will cut-off your leg, the affected area and replace it with artificial leg, we will do the amputation process". From that time, we went home full of grieving. I had sleepless nights if what option shall I follow. I asked God in choosing the right one for me. I asked God to give me a sign and he did it. I accidentally read one passage in the bible and say " If you want to follow me, put on your cross not for your own sake, but for the sake of many". I think many times and when my mind is setteled, I have already a decision, Im ready to be amputated.
          I did not think my personal interest at that time. I thought my family's future. I did it for them even-though it is painful in my part. I thanked god that I was not deppresed but he anointed and guided  me to stand firm still even I am already a product of amputation. I believe God has still a plan for me.

My Lost Sire(ang nawawala kong ama)

               I got hurt, insecured and I cried so hard if I remember him. I am losing hope when I remember the past, my father's responsibility to me as his son.

              When I see a father, a mother and a child walking in the pavement blissfully, I pity myself because ever since in my life I did not experienced that I have a father. I just weep in my room and dreaming that someday, our roads will meet together because i am also longing for his care and comfort. I am always asking God so that he will give me a chance to know him but that prayer has no answer yet. Last time, I asked my mother if where and who is my father but she is always refusing to answer it and remains angry with me all the time I question her about him. I am puzzled why she confute to give me response and I cannot find any reason why she is always acting like that. I started to dislike my mother's attitude, I was intimidated. When my aunt had just arrived home, I asked the query if where is my father and she reasoned out that he is dead. I did not believe from what she said. I know and i can feel that he is still alive. From that time, I did not asked any question from them about my father anymore because I know that they will just refuse to answer me. When I graduated in high school, my aunt was the only one beside me going up the stage. I looked at my classmates and I saw that they are complete, a mother and a father. I again started crying and sighing wishing that my sire is with me getting up the stage and my diploma. I felt with mixed emotions that time, happy but sad. Lately, there was a friend of mine asking where is my father, i sighed. I said that he has another family across the country. I was sorry for what I said hoping that it will not come to reality. I spent my Christmas, new year and father's day with an incomplete parents but I remained firm because i have a family who is supporting me all the time. My life is like a bamboo that has hole inside and the only way to fill that hole is to find my lost sire. But that bamboo is standing still even trials and struggles come its way.  I wish I could have a superlative power so that I can easily find that someone special in my life. I want to experience how a father love his son and give his son all the best to achieve his goals in life and from that time that I would be complete.

             If the Lord will give me the opportunity to know my father, I will not dismayed in him but to accept him with all my heart. Even though I don't know where is my lost sire is, I am always praying that someday, God will make a way for us.

Money Can Buy Everything

          

           What will you plan to do if you will be given a chance to be a millionaire?Are you going to spend your life with your money? Are you going to resign at work and give much time to your family and friends?
             Truly, money can buy all material things because money is important to us and we cannot live without it.Many people are striving hard just to earn a huge amount of money and to make their lives more prosperous than others. According to 1 Timothy 6:9-10, " But they that will be rich fall into temptation and snare, and into many foolish and hurt full lusts, which drown men into destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil; which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith and pierced themselves through many sorrows". There are people that once they are already rich from sole to crown, they doesn't know  already those people who helped them behind their success. Why? does money can change also your attitude towards others? Can money helps those wealthy people to forget those who are below them? they are absurd. I pity them.  they did not remained humble as if they were not paupers before. They cannot bring their wealth when they die!. they cannot say that their life on earth is full of golds and I believe that their life in heaven will be full of thorns because they did not thank the Almighty for all of the fame that they had on earth. In the other hand, not all people are like that. there are those who are willing to share their blessings that God had given to them and this people are not lovers of money but lovers of many. They only want a simple life spending their wealth to many individuals. These people has a kind heart, a pure heart and a clean heart and they are not expecting rewards in return.
             Money can buy everything except dignity, trust and respect. Even though you have impoverished life on earth if you have a golden heart, people will not abhor you but to admire and love you to the fullest.

God's Divine Love

          In life, we always encounter trials, sometimes tough, sometimes we want them to be blown by the wind but for me, life is not unfair. It's just a matter of accepting and learning some lessons that life is giving to us.
          We should always thank the Almighty because he is not making us experience grieving but instead, he gives us blessings everyday. Although we can;t realize that what we have daily  is what God had given to us. Sometimes, he let us experience pain for us to acknowledge his presence. He gives us challenges for a purpose that we must get lessons from his tests, he wants to mold us to be a better person and to take away all the impurities that stayed inside our hearts. There are also times that God seems to unkind to us but I tell you, God is too good to be unkind. he always find solutions to our unanswered problems. He never leaves us but he always with us especially in times what we are down. We should always put in our minds what God say. " For I know my plans better than you". So God promised that he is working for our best and he doesn't want you to lean on your own understanding., that you must realize  that he is always your weapon, a healer, and the greatest physician. Remember that Jesus died on the cross for our sins because he love us and he care for us and no matter what will happen, he will always with us and especially he will carry nor lift us up. Praying is just the key for us to communicate with him because through praying, God will surely listen to us and will  answer us at the vest time you need it. praying has no limitations. Just ask help with all your heart, a sincere heart and he will not refuse to help you.  He do not need any material things in this world but he only need our trust and faith because through trust and faith, we are saved.

          Life without God is like life living without a purpose but living with God is life full of purpose because he promised that whoso believeth in him will have eternal life.

Its time For Me to Let You Go

It took me months to forget you, to get rid of you in my heart.

I tried everything from ignoring you, your calls, your messages. But damn it, none of them worked. You just seemed to creep your way back into my heart and crush it again.

What did I see in you anyway? You’re just a typical guy. Nothing special, just average. Maybe you had your way of capturing my heart, making me head over heels in love with you.

I don’t know what has gotten into me back then, but I fell for you, your charms, your sweet words. Well, who can blame me? I’m a girl, and I’m a sucker for sweet talks.

Every time you’d tell me you love me, my heart would start racing. My mouth forming a smile. Every time you’d hold my hand, the world becomes a blur in my eyes. I guess I could say you were my first love.

I remember very vividly the time you first confessed to me. You were being an ass that day. You were irritating the heck out of me. You’d keep bugging and teasing me. You were such a nuisance. Then out of nowhere, you held my hand and suddenly pulled me to your side. You handed me a note and told me to read it. It read, “I like you.” I looked at you, bewildered. I told you “Nice one dude, you really got me there.” I rolled my eyes and shoved it back to you and walked away. You came running next to me and told me you were serious. I just stared at you with disbelief. You kept telling me over and over again that it wasn’t a joke. I replied with a shrug.

A month passed. You weren’t kidding. You really did like me, but I was still unsure of my feelings for you. I only met you my Junior year and I’ve grown close to you, like my guy best friend. I could easily talk to you.

You weren’t afraid to show or express your feelings. You were very vocal about it. Not even a month later, I started to fall for you.

We started off okay, like a normal couple would. But still, I was confused. What were we exactly? You didn’t actually ask me to be your girlfriend. You just told me you liked me and showed it. You acted like one, but I didn’t know what our status were. As a girl, I’d really appreciate it if I was labeled as your girlfriend.

I didn’t bother asking you about it. Things were going good for the first 3 months. Then we had some problems. We were on and off, we had a very unhealthy relationship.

We both wanted to fix the problem and so we did. But I’ve noticed, things weren’t the same anymore. You were a bit odd. Turns out, you’ve gotten tired of me.

It hurts, it broke my heart. Just when I’ve really, really fallen for you, you broke my heart.

Right after my graduation, you called me and asked me to meet you outside. So I did. You stood there, with a stuffed animal. It had a cap and it was holding a diploma. “Congrats, I’m sorry I couldn’t come.” I ran over to you and gave you a hug “It’s okay. Thanks.” Then you took me out to lunch to celebrate.

I thought we were okay again, we were back to normal? A month later, you sent me a message. “I’m sorry nerdy, but I don’t think this will work anymore. -Your nerd.” My heart dropped. What was this about? I didn’t know what to think or do. Tears sprang in my eyes and nearly a second later, it cascaded down my cheeks like a waterfall. I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

What kind of guy would break up through a text? How stupid could he be! He could’ve had the decency to break up with me in person not a text! You stupid idiot! I hate you! These were the thoughts I had that time. I hated you, I wanted to punch your pretty little face. I wanted to yell at you for breaking my heart just like that.

The following months were heartbreaking. I’d usually cry at night or cry when I talked to my best friend. I was lucky to have her by my side, giving me advice and comforting me.

After our break up, I saw you. You gave me a nod and I gave you a faint smile. You tried talking to me but I kept ignoring you. I wanted to distance myself from you, from the hurt you’ve caused me.

After that first encounter, I’ve gotten better. I stopped crying at night and I stopped thinking about you. When I saw you a couple times again, I didn’t have that feeling of wanting and hating you anymore. It was simply gone. I guess, with the help of my best friend, I’ve gotten over you.

When I heard you moved on with another girl, I was happy for you. I never thought that the day I’ll be able to move on was that soon. I was happy and relieved. I was finally over you.

So this is how it feels to be finally over you and, after what seemed to be forever, I’m happy again.

It took me long enough to realize that you’re just not worth a single tear, not worth my time, and definitely not worth my love. I shouldn’t linger in the past, I have to move on. My life doesn’t end just because you’re no longer part of it.


                                                                      This story was sent to me by my friend in Hawaii
                                                                                          From "MiMi"

My Bestfriend

This letter was sent to me by a friend of mine through email. Let us read his story. Be inspired to his story.

          I've tried my best to remove this feelings that I have for me to forget her face on my mind and her precious name in my heart but as I force myself to forget all about her, I'm slowly killing myself. I love her for no such reason. I want to see her face even just for a moment of her smile because seeing her smiling is the reason for me to live and love her endlessly.
          She is my best friend. i could not believe that I fall to her. She was a neighbor and a childhood friend whom  I later considered as my best friend but those ordinary expectations turned to something different. something extraordinary, a special feeling that touched the depth of my heart. Before this all happens, I was attracted to someone else, she's my crush, a dear to me. I dare to share this kind of feeling I had for my crush to my best friend. i let her saw the picture of her. I never saw any hint of jealousy on her face, so I thought that I was perfectly okay with her. I don't know what made my best friend so special to me. i just knew that when my best friend told me that she got a boyfriend, I became jealous. On that time, my feelings for my crush had deeply vanished. All I knew was.. I was hurt, hurt by my best friend's revelations. I shed tears that night, tears of solitude. Since then, she hardly spent time with me. She stopped hanging around with me visiting at our house where we used to enjoy others company. She always with her boyfriend's barkada and this really bothered me. I would be hypocrite if I say that I don't love nor like her. Now i am totally in love with my best friend. My best friend who is now committed to someone else. I was in pain. I'm facing the hard task of mustering the confidence and courage to reveal my love for her. But then her cousin told me that she will be leaving and I don't know the reason why she had to do that. I felt the pain inside of me, thinking that she will be leaving without knowing my true feelings for her. "That her best friend loves her quietly, all this time"
          How I wish i could tell her everything..
         How I wish she could love me too..
          But how? I'm just her best friend. I fear that she cannot accept me, the feelings that I had for her that she will think that the friendship we had is full of pretending.Come what may, my love will always be there for my bestfriend. Never would I think that in love, there is a side from a happy one to a lonely ending.
          I'll always be waiting, longing for that day.. the right time, the right place when all that I feel will be revealed to her.

Who Am I

            The physical attribute doesn't count on how you judge a person. thus, you must see the pureness of his/her heart and intention, that's how I describe myself as a person.
            I am a person who knows how to fight my rights as an individual. Rights in the sense that nobody could belittle me nor destroy my reputations. I am earsplitting but deep inside my heart measures my capabilities to love people wherever I am. Even-though how provocative I am, still i'm not cursing people nor a gold digger but to love and accept them as my brothers and sisters. I am also jolly and cheerful. Behind my happiness and joy  hides my emotional trap in my heart. Im the person who wants to experience true love, who will accept me and love me for who I am but I cannot question anything about it. Life is very unfair for me. Why am i always experiencing so much trial?why always tears and pain? I just bear in mind that whatever happens to me, everything has its own purpose. To add more, I am a person who knows how to share my opportunities to others. If i already feel that God gives me a bountiful blessings, I know how to think others concern. In the other hand, music gives me a self satisfaction. Playing an instrument is such a gift from above.i am good in dancing and sing some of my favorite songs. i know that whatever I have now that God given to me, I will treasure it for a lifetime.
           My life is an echo, It gives back to what I had given. Who am I now will be who am I forever. i will never forget those good things in my life. I shall not want them to be buried in the ground but to develop them so that I can use them in the future.

        

Just Trust Him

Just Trust Him

          Have you experiences calling God but he is not answering your call? Do you ever wonder why he did not answered you? Are you puzzled why in times you are losing your hope, he does not want you to touch the ground?

          I know, many people doesn't believe the power of prayers and they are asking why the things happening around them is full of tragedy and misfortune. According to Jeremiah 33:3, "Call unto me and i will answer thee, and show the great and mighty things which though has knowest not". In that passage in the bible,  I believe that God is present because we can always find solution to our problem even though we find them hard and tough. There are answers to our prayers but not all of them are answered in just a wink of our eyes but instead, they will be given at the right time. We also sometimes question our self if  if God is hearing our cries and if he is helping us in our down moments. Remember, he never leave's us and he will carry us when we can't carry on. Don't question god because he is true. Don't question why there are times that you are down, that sometimes you cannot feel his presence, that sometimes he let us experience pain and trials because he wants us to learn some lessons in his given challenges. He is watching over us, watching that you are fighting and you can overcome this struggles that he has given you. Always remember that everything that happens has its own purpose and bear in mind that all things works for our good, all things that is given is for the best. There are people who cannot remember God when they are happy, when they are wealthy and famous. They can't think that this things are given by him and they can't even say a little thanks for the blessings that he has given.This people do not put God in their hearts. they are like dictionaries  that if you want to look at a certain word, they will just consult it without using it.
           Just put on mind that praying is the pathway for us to communicate to the Almighty. No crooked lines, and no charge. the only ingredient when you pray is our Faith unto him because through faith, we are saved. just trust in him with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding.

Behind Happiness is Weakness

       

             I know how to accommodate things in order but there is a sudden grief that nobody can solve it. I've tried it sometimes but it's hard to let the pain release that the only option is to let him free. I used to cry and i think the world is beneath my shoulder and I tell to myself that I'll never give up even he made me live in misery. Whats wrong with me? Don't I really deserves to be happy? or it's just my illusion?
             Actually, I'm happy to my state of living but love drives me crazy.Is it tough to assert what I'm feeling?. Yes it's true. Okay I''l narrate. This days, I've felt something special for him. I admit that I'm not perfect to say that he has feelings for me too but I have weakness that could be able to loose my turn and rejected. I effort a lot so that my love for him becomes meaningful and I guess it will be done in a nice tract. This love seems a sacrifice for me in a case that I rather divide myself into two for a reason not to escape but to give time for him. I'll go with the music, am I martyr?. Sometimes, reality bites. I pity myself for sure if in case he will leave me and be never come back for a reason to find his love and destiny.I do really abhor myself, worthless and useless. How can I solve the puzzle of my heart if there are some spaces left?
             Now, it is clear for me the definition of love. Love is unexpected that's what I've felt. In fact I'd learned how to love him despite all the struggles around us. I just bear in my mind that they are not my lost. Do what they want, blowing in the wind is such their job.